10/19/08

Remembering Divina Aban

OCTOBER 20
MONDAY, 3:33 AM

Today is my bestfriend's 3rd year death anniversary... and I really do miss her terribly. If she was alive up to this day, most likely...she is already working overseas as she plans to be a part of an international shipping cruise and is preparing for it when it all happened. She was diagnosed with Leukemia, a type of cancer that is found on the blood. As she explained her sickness to me before, I've learned that her body is producing more white blod cells than red ones which our body needed. While explaining to me all those medical terms... I can feel from her voice that she does have high hopes of overcoming this deadly disease. She mentioned that what she have is the weakest type of Leukemia that can be healed. I knew she could make it, she is a fighter. We've been friends for almost all our lives. We became friends when we were in our 2nd year high school and since then we never left each other's side. We became rivals when it comes to who will be the salutatorian...she won. Other candidates protest...but not me. I won't and even if given a chance... I will keep silent. I don't want to hurt her and ruin the friendship we've built for almost 3 years at that time. What's surprising is that on her Salutatory speech...she offered her medal to her bestfriend... yup, I heard she offered her medal to me as she spoke my name and that's more than enough honor than being the salutatorian itself. After high school, we still keep in touch. She never forgotten to invite me in their celebrations and I usually attend. Everything goes very well, we even had an outing together a year before she died. We had an overnight swimming in a resort somewhere in Laguna with her bf, my bf and our gay bestfriend Pipa. It was one of the most enjoyable outing I ever attended...never knowing that it would be the last time Vhine would grace us with her presence...

I received a text from another friend, Odette, informing me that Vhine is not feeling well lately and ask me to call because our barkada is at Vhine's place visiting her. At first, I thought it is just a flu or a minor cough and cold kind of sickness...so I called their house and spoke with them. I still does'nt have a hint of what her sickness is...so I just say hi and had a small chitchat with them as I am not at home and is just using one of those payphones in Cubao where me and my mother is strolling.

Then, one day...I received a text from my gay friend informing me that Vhine is diagnosed with a disease called Leukemia. I was bothered. I decided to visit her in the hospital in which she is confined to and I never thought that the damage of her sickness would be severe. She said she lost her hair, her appetite and her strength. We laughed the whole time I was right there and she introduced me to her new boyfriend who never left her despite of what she is going through right now. We laughed and laughed just to forget whats happening and when it's time to bid goodbye...her sister told me that the doctors told them that Vhine does have approximately 4 months to live. I was stuck and at first I did'nt believe it. In my heart and in my mind I know that she can have more than this so I told myself that it's impossible. Vhine is young and active...she would definitely wont let her disease overcome her. I had one chance to visit her at their house, that's the time she explained to me what her disease is all about and how it could be cured. I thought everything is going really well. In fact, she even attended San Juan Fiesta with us not knowing that it would be the last time I would see her (by the way, that was June 24). I never thought she would be gone very soon. I promised to visit her in the hospital but that never materialized because my schedule won't allow me. I, myself, is having a hard time adjusting to a call center life and I am ready to quit anytime. Everything seems to go from bad to worse.

Then one day, it's my off...I am preparing to go to my mother's house in Montalban when I suddenly received a call from one of our common friends informing me that Vhine already gave up. I was shocked. I did'nt know what to do. I was motionless for a moment then I cried out very loud. I hurriedly called my husband and I asked him to immediately ask his manager if he could go home early as I can't manage this alone. He hurriedly went home and off we went to the hospital where she is located and went straight to the embalming area where I saw my bestfriend's body lying naked...cold...lifeless...I don't recall what happened after that. I feel so much grief as if I lost a very dear sister.

I felt embarassed of myself. If I only knew it would be Divine's last days on earth, I should have stayed with her. Assist her and took care of her...but she is gone now, everything's too late. The only way I could make up to her is to be with her on the last days her body would be in the earth. I never left her, I stayed with her hoping that though she is already dead...she could still feel that I love her so much and that I am sorry for not being with her during those tough times.

At her funeral, I was late but I am praying that I could still see her face for the last time... and just like a miracle...I came exactly at the point that the minister would close the coffin. I still manage to utter my last prayer and then we hurriedly went to the place of burial.

I don't know but since then, I feel like everything changed. I started to value friends more and I started to value my own life. Divine is such a strong girl and never in our wildest imagination would we think that she would leave us so soon. I hope this story of mine would touch my every readers heart so that they could give more importance in life. I hope all of us could live each day to the fullest.

To my bestfriend, wherever she is... I hope is is happy. I know that since she lived for others - I know that she is now with the Lord. Till we meet again my friend, please prepare a room for me, neighbor tayo. I love you and you will always be remembered....





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10/14/08

It's Payday!

October 15, 2008
Wednesday, 2:45 PM

Lord thank you again for all the blessings you've given us. Thank you for my job and thank you for all my friends. Jojo fetched me at Munoz and right after I got my salary, we had our weekly grocery @ Waltermart. I also had the chance to deposit some money for our monthly savings. I am also happy that things are working really well for Jojo especially on his online venture. I just hope that our online job would continue and I hope we could be able to save for our future. I was late again last night and I really need to make it up to our coach today so I need to sleep early so I could report for work early tonight. Thank you for all the blessings Lord!

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10/12/08

Revival

Oct. 13,2008
Monday 4:08 am


It's my second day off and its a Sunday. Instead of going to church, I spend the rest of the day in front of my computer...finding ways to earn extra online. This has been a routine and I don't know how to stop it. I know that I was'nt able to go to church service for almost 4 years now (since we me and my Jojo lived together). I know it's not good but still, I don't do anything about it. I want to revive back my faith which has been stagnant for 4 years...though I know that I am blessed to know the TRUTH about salvation - I refuse to obey. Lord I pray that you won't give up on me. I know I have'nt been a good daughter to you and bearer of the good news but Lord, I again offer myself to be a living testimony of how great you are and how good you've been to me. I want to touch other's lives again and again feel your presence inside me. I hope it's not too late Lord. I have been a backslider...but here I am again...asking for forgiveness and hoping you'll take me back. I love you Lord, I know I can still make it up to you. Amen.


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10/10/08

Lazy Me!

October 11, 2008
Saturday, 3:05 PM

I've been so lazy. Actually, I together with my sister Mamu planned to have a "gimik" or drinking session right after their shift today. But since I am on a restday...I really had second thoughts about it. Well...yeah, I know. I was the one who set this all up. I even invited everyone in the team and everyone agreed, but I suddenly felt that they are really not that excited on our gimik. My gay friend did not text me and Ice only texted me 3 hours before their shift ends. I actually woke up very early, 5 am because I was so excited to pick what outfit I would wear but here when they are just going with the flow. To my dismay, I just asked them to postpone the gimik. I will just work on my blogs. Anyway, I have my own gimik later...Odette's 29th birthday. Well, actually, I also is not so sure if I can make it or I would again change my mind and just work on my blogs. Well see. Anyways, I've been craving two things today...Coke Zero and Turon. Thanks to my ever loving hubby Jojo who always gives me everything I want. Here is my delicious merienda for the day...yum!



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10/7/08

FOR HOW LONG?

October 8, 2008
TUESDAY, 6:13 PM

I can't explain what I am feeling today. It's just so happen that a former batchmate, teammate and a friend left the office without saying goodbye to us. We don't even had a clue that he will be resigning. I am talking about our "papang" Pedro Sarcia. We used to call him papang because he is one of the seniors (as in senior citizen) of the team. He is also an ECE graduate like me but the only difference is that he is a licensed ECE! He graduated from CCP, the school where my hubby graduated. We really have a lot in common that's why I felt so sad that he left. Things like this makes me think twice if I would still pursue my plan of sticking with my present employer for three more years especially now that my friends at the office are leaving.

My eyes were opened on the reality that nothing in this world is permanent when my first TL - TL Chrisse was transferred to one of our offices in Bacolod. Then suddenly, my friend and sisterette Ivy followed and went to Dubai. Gherj, one of my closest friends also left to pursure her dream of being a programmer...then Shai, one of my teammates was forced to resign because of her failing scorecards. My batchmates are also planning to leave the company right after we've reached our second year... Julei, Paupau and Niknok (who by the way left already just a few days back) and what's worse...Ice, my closest batchmate and friend at the office is also planning to leave come December together with my gay friend Mamu.

As I mentioned earlier, I dont intend to resign for the next three years because my job pays me well... but with the negative vibes going around the office - I can't help but think twice. I plan to retire three years from now and I intend to have CVG as my last employer before I jump off to another venture which is putting up my own business and be a full time blogger.
Lord, I pray that everything will be OK. Whatever you want to do in my life for your own glory...please make it happen. I trust you and I believe that whatever decisions I may take in the future... I know its all under your will. May you be glorified in everything I do. Amen.




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