Change In Attitude

Well' I'm back again on this blog. I'm ashamed of not being able to stick to my plans...I can't take the fact that am already 31 years old but I only have P3,000 on my bank account. I am already earning around P30,000 monthly and yet, I wasn't able to save. I've been working for almost ten years now and yet, I still feel I'm still starting in my career. Yes, I am afraid. Afraid to lose, afraid to be laughed at, afraid to be alone. I don't want to take risks and thinks negatively in every application. I definitely hate myself. I don't want to live like this anymore but I don't know how to start. I know I have the capacity to be rich but I don't have the proper discipline to reach that goal. Lord, help me to change my attitude. I don't want to be a happy go lucky girl anymore, I want results. I want good results. I hope the next time I vent out my feelings as honestly as this one...I already have good news. For now, wish me luck.

Redundant

It's been a redundant week for me. I feel as if everything in my life right now is routinary. I would wake up at around 7 pm, would go to the office at around 8:30 pm, will sign up for vgh and would be permitted to go home at around 12mn. My hubby will fetch me at Munoz, we will have a DVD marathon and would sleep. I would wake up at around 11 am, just in time for lunch. Would watch "face to face", "juicy" and finally "eat bulaga". Will write some blog entries and some posts and would again still for my shift again later. Everything is a cycle. I am looking forward for a day extra ordinary. I hope it will happen tonight. I guess I need to start my exercise so I could get rid of this negative emotions. Thank you Lord, amen.

Broken Hearted

I really don't know why my hubby is acting up like this again. It's just so happen that whenever my mom would visit me here in our house...my hubby feels left out and becomes vulnerable. Just earlier this morning, he is washing our clothes and well,I was still asleep. I heard mom tell him to make sure that he hang the clothes properly as to make sure it would not smell. I also heard her ask him if he is watering the plants as she feels Jojo is not doing his task. I guess those words hurted my hubby's feelings and became reluctant afterwards. He doesn't want to eat with us outside and would prefer eating in our room while watching a movie through the dvd player. It hurts me that my mom and my hubby is having this kind of cold war. I know at times mom become so authoritative but I know her motives...she want's us to improve our lifestyle. I also feel for my hubby as he feels mom sees nobody but him. He feels inferior as he is only working at home,contributing only a small portion of our budget compared to what I am giving. I am really torn and I am so sad. I asked hubby to please help me as I don't want to be sad on my birthday week and he promised to ask an apology to my mom later today. If he do that, I would treat him to a movie tonight...if he does'nt...we're stuck here at home. I'll tell you what will happen later. Please pray for our family. Thanks.

Busy for the Holidays

I'm sooo tired! I want to sleep already but I still have tons of things to do. I need to update my blogs, bid opps, check my friends' blogs and arrange my things. I did'nt have enough sleep as I need to do so many things in the house. My sister will arrive on Sunday and I really need to make sure the house is spick and span and everything is in order. I changed the bedsheet and put on a new linoleum. I also arranged everything in the kitchen and bought groceries for next week. There are still a lot of things to do but my body is now so tired and I still have my shift later. Hopefully I can manage to stay awake for the rest of my shift tonight. Tomorrow we'll gonna go to SM to purchase Globe Tatoo as a backup dsl connection. The technician who reformatted my newly purchased ASUS EEPC 701 messed up my wireless adapter so my laptop already lost it's wireless capability. My hubby said the tech will come out today to fix my laptop as well as my desktop so hopefully everything would be fixed by tonight. For now, though I still have so many tasks to do on my blog... I think it's time for me to rest now. I just hope I can manage to finish my two task tomorrow. By the way, well gonna go to my Kuya's place in Antipolo tomorrow as we need to fetch ate and family in NAIA early Sunday. Help us Lord and I know everything will be okey next week. Amen.

What a Gloomy Day

I just don't like this day. I don't know why but I really felt so sad. Maybe I got so tired from my shift as there are so many calls coming in, furthermore, my teammates thought a large size tshirt would fit me so they picked that size for me but since the sizes are too small... there is really no way I could fit in to that shirt. Also, the pag-ibig salary loan we applied for last month still was'nt approved... and last but not the least...there is a possibility that my friend would be transferred to a different account or worse might get terminated because of an honest mistake she committed at work. I just feel like everything is falling apart. I don't like this feeling and I don't like thinking about negative things so I feel I really need to rest well today. I think I need an 8 hour sleep just to drive all these nega things away. I hope tonight would be a better night than last night shift. Amen.

PS:

oh I almost forgot, the shoes I just wore today gave up only after 8 hours of use... what a day!

MY DREAM OF BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR

Lately, my time is usually being spent in front of my PC - checking, researching and finding ways to earn extra so we could be able to save for our future. I want to have one so bad that I search most all day for the past 2 days now, with lunch and dinner as my only break time. No wonder my eyes feel tired and heavy all the time. I've never been obsessed like this before - I've never wanted something so much that it takes me hours to research about it. Just this morning, I saw an episode of "Kabuhayang Swak na Swak" about an entrepreneur who is making it big in business of selling UP inspired t-shirts and right threre and then, I suddenly felt that this too is the business for me. I've again searched on the net and was able to get some infos on how to start up one. First, you must have your own design for your tshirts. I don't know how to draw, I am not so good in creating logos and designs, but I do know one who is good at it... My kuya Elmer! Once I was able to start this biz, I would ask him to work for me instead. It would definitely help him raise my nephew. The other things to consider are finding the right machines to print the designs on the shirt, looking for the best tshirt suppliers and where to market the items. Among the latter three, finding the best tshirt supplier will be the most challenging thing to do but I do believe that once I was able to study the ins and outs of the business...everything will go well. I hope all my prayers will be granted. Thank you for the desires of my life Lord, Amen!!!

I Need Rest

Saturday and Sunday were my restdays for the week. My friends are inviting us our last Saturday for a night out as Peejay does have free ticket invites at a famous comedy bar. Thought I would love to go… I decided not to join as I feel really tired I don’t know why I always feel that I need simple rest as things really get clogging in my brain, I feel I need to rejuvenate myself by resting and first reasons myself. I’m already 29 years old and I still don’t know is that what’s my next step after cvg. All I know is that I would be returning from work on the next two years - get my early retirement pay and have a good life. I know I want to have a business but that part is not clear either. I need my rest to take. Unfortunately – I again wasn’t’ able to go to church today. I wast I would just wake up one day and everything in my life in proper place.

On Losing Weight

Wow! Summer is here! I can feel it through the hot wind blowing on my face when I go for a walk after shift...and what's the best thing to do during summer? What else but swim! Waaahh, speaking of which...our team will have a team building at Mango Camp Zambales and instead of being excited...I'm kinda scared. I will be going out with beautiful, skinny people for God's sake! Huhuhu. I know I should not be intimidated and should at least just flaunt whatever I have (whatever it is!) instead of having a self pity and just lock my door up and say "NO" to the world! But to be honest with you...I can't help it..not that I don't want to see them having fun with their pettite sexy bodies..it's just that I also want to have one like them. That's the very reason why I've decided to go to they gym with my dear friend Mamu. Well gonna go to Red Corner at the Holiday Inn come first of April and would do my best to knock off the pounds again. I won't say anything anymore - almost all my plans of losing weight had failed so far..just check my posts if this one came to materialize soon. hehehe.

Revival

Oct. 13,2008
Monday 4:08 am


It's my second day off and its a Sunday. Instead of going to church, I spend the rest of the day in front of my computer...finding ways to earn extra online. This has been a routine and I don't know how to stop it. I know that I was'nt able to go to church service for almost 4 years now (since we me and my Jojo lived together). I know it's not good but still, I don't do anything about it. I want to revive back my faith which has been stagnant for 4 years...though I know that I am blessed to know the TRUTH about salvation - I refuse to obey. Lord I pray that you won't give up on me. I know I have'nt been a good daughter to you and bearer of the good news but Lord, I again offer myself to be a living testimony of how great you are and how good you've been to me. I want to touch other's lives again and again feel your presence inside me. I hope it's not too late Lord. I have been a backslider...but here I am again...asking for forgiveness and hoping you'll take me back. I love you Lord, I know I can still make it up to you. Amen.

Lazy Me!

October 11, 2008
Saturday, 3:05 PM

I've been so lazy. Actually, I together with my sister Mamu planned to have a "gimik" or drinking session right after their shift today. But since I am on a restday...I really had second thoughts about it. Well...yeah, I know. I was the one who set this all up. I even invited everyone in the team and everyone agreed, but I suddenly felt that they are really not that excited on our gimik. My gay friend did not text me and Ice only texted me 3 hours before their shift ends. I actually woke up very early, 5 am because I was so excited to pick what outfit I would wear but here when they are just going with the flow. To my dismay, I just asked them to postpone the gimik. I will just work on my blogs. Anyway, I have my own gimik later...Odette's 29th birthday. Well, actually, I also is not so sure if I can make it or I would again change my mind and just work on my blogs. Well see. Anyways, I've been craving two things today...Coke Zero and Turon. Thanks to my ever loving hubby Jojo who always gives me everything I want. Here is my delicious merienda for the day...yum!

Christmas Gift for Myself

SEPT. 28, 2008
SUNDAY 9:00 am

God day everyone! We woke up just now because nanood pa si Jojo ng "Walang Tulugan" ni Kuya Germs. Hahaha. Even though I am really not a fan of the show, in fact i have so many subcomments - I enjoy watching it because of Shalala. He (or she) has a segment with German Moreno and they tackle Showbiz intrigues today and even in the past. Shalala is so funny and I would keep on watching "Walang Tulugan" just because of his segment.

Anyways last Friday, I with my gay friend Mamu strolled at Robinsons and we treat ourselves at Teriyaki Boy. Grabe, all we were talking about was boys, boys, boys! We even saw RJ of Pinoy Dream Academy at the restaurant and I was star struck, hahaha! I was shocked to see how he looks because anyone can say that he really looks feminine. No joke. Mamu also said (with his "gay-dar" ON) that he look like one... well, who are we to judge. Maybe he just looks vain and maybe he is really a macho man (in which I doubt, hehehe).
After a hearty lunch, we strolled and looked for a laptop. I would love to buy a laptop this Christmas so I can blog to sawa wherever I am. Instead of going the straight route, my gay friend would go to a direction where there are "cute boys" either walking our direction or those that are in their own stalls. I almost cried in laughter when I catched mamu staring at one of those macho barber cleaning their stall in a barbershop. Hay. I went home at around 4:30 PM and just bought food for Jojo.

My restdays (Saturday and Sunday) was spent where else but at home, doing things for my blog. I intend to spend more time and energy on this money making scheme of mine as Christmas is fast approaching and I am saving for a new laptop. I want the new ASUS laptop, the handy one because I want to bring it along with me especially when I am travelling. I want to keep it on my bag so I can blog whenever there's time. I hope I can save enough for my "christmas present". This is how my new laptop look like...


and here are the specs...

Specifications

Display	8.9” Display, 1024 x 600 resolution
Color	Pearl White, Black
CPU	Intel® Mobile CPU
Processor	Intel Mobile Chipset
Memory	DDR II 1GB
Display Card	Intel UMA
Storage	12GB (4GB built-in + 8GB flash) SSD (Microsoft Windows OS Version) 20GB (4GB built-in +16GB flash) SSD (Linux OS Version)
Audio	HD audio / built-in speakers
Wireless	Built-in 802.11b/g
Camera	1.3M Pixel webcam
Storage Cards	SD / MMC (SDHC)
Input / Output	3xUSB / VGA-out (D-Sub, 15pin) / earphone jack / mic / RJ45 10/100 Mbps
Power	Output: 12V, 36W; Input: 100-240V AC, 50/60Hz universal
Operating System	Windows XP Home / Linux
Dimensions	22.5cm(W) x 17.0cm(D) x 2cm~3.38cm(H)
Weight	0.99 kg

I really hope God would allow me to buy this through my hard earned money from blogging. I will update you soon! God Bless!

Finally, Im Back!

SEPTEMBER 12
FRIDAY

well, how long have i parked this blog and never tried posting anything..not even one? hmmm...yeah, it's been 7 months since my last post. As you can see, the first entry shows the feeling of a girl excited about how to live her life, encouraging others to make the most out of it, telling people not to be afraid of showing her true self. It is still my predicament till now... I still believe the since we only live once - we might as well make the right decisions. It's either hit or miss, win or lose, success or failure. I hope I can impart to you how I fight my own life battles and how God help me endure through it all. I've been blogging for sometime now...say, almost five years. I've learned to impart a part of me and was able to gain friendship through it and I hope I can post as honestly as possible on this blog. Welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay!

peeping jojo...

FEBRUARY 22
FRIDAY



what are you looking at?

i came from the office at around 3:30 am - on our office ( i am working in a call center) - if the volume of calls are not so heavy, they allow their employees to file VGH (Voluntary Go Home)
and they are usually permitted to go home earlier than their usual shift.

I applied for VGH because i want to enjoy my birthday. I will be turning 28 this February 22nd and I definitely want to enjoy it. So after my good friend Gherj treat me out for early morning breakfast - off I went home and had a nice time with my boyfriend Jojo.

We cooked "pinakbet" - i want to eat healthy foods from now on as I am not getting any younger - and while waiting for the meal to cook - I took a picture of him on our living room. It's kind'a  funny... it's like he is looking for something outside but he is afraid of being caught....

the whole day was spent in bed.... the breeze is so cold and it's the best time to rest. Tomorrow - I know Ill gonna be busy... will update you as to where and how I celebrated my birthday...

THE STORY OF MY LIFE

I know I told you on my last post that I will think of a topic to use for this blog and will just post it the tomorrow...unfortunately it took me almost 25 days before I can think of something....and you can't believe what I think I need to do for this blog....

I think I want to use this as my online diary...well, is'nt it kind'a usual? Usually you blog because you want to pour out your feelings, you want to take note of what your views are about a certain topic, or you just want to blog about something. Well, that's what I intend to do with this blog. I want to be as personal as possible so I don't think I can use this for my online blog reviews. Anyway, it's ok...let my other blogs serve that purpose.

Thank you for visiting... I intend not to inform my friends that a blog of mine like this do exists. I don't want them to know everything about me. I don't want them to know what I feel about a certain thing or a certain person...I just created this blog to have an outlet...to take note of my frustations...happiness...fears....excitement....

Thank you for reading this...I don't expect you to continue to read but if you want to hold on and read anyway...you're always welcome to drop by....


THIS IS MY STORY. THIS IS MY LIFE. I HOPE I AM ABLE TO GLORIFY GOD THROUGH THIS JOURNEY OF MINE....

WELCOME TO MY WORLD....