9/25/12

Midlife Crisis

I'm already in the point in my life wherein I don't know where I am going. Having fears inside me, feeling down most of the time and afraid of what the future might bring is my everyday dilemma. I know that God said in His words that I need not fear for He is with me and that He already have planned everything that would happen in my life. He wants me to prosper and wants me to live life to the fullest. I already know that but I still can't help but wonder what would happen next. Am I feeling this way because my hubby doesn't have a stable job yet? Or is it because of my current responsibility paying for the house amortization? Or is it just the feeling of inadequacy, not being enough, being a failure. I want to succeed in this life but how can I do it if I don't like my current job. I want to explore other possibilities but how can I do that if no one is helping me? It shouldve been perfect if both me and my hubby is working. We would be able to save for the future, buy stuff for the house and maybe plan a family. But right now, I am the only one providing for the both of us and I already feel so tired of all of these responsibilities. I hope one day there will come a time when I won't have to worry about what will happen in our life in the future...hopefully, my hubby will also help me carry this burden.